Small Potatoes

"So we're not giving up.  How could we!  Even though on the outside it often looks like things are falling apart on us, on the inside, where God is making new life, not a day goes by without his unfolding grace.  These hard times are small potatoes compared to the coming good times, the lavish celebration prepared for us.  There's far more here than meets the eye.  The things we see now are here today, gone tomorrow.  But the things we can't see now will last forever."

2 Corinthians 4:16-18, The Message

When I was a junior in high school, I spent a weekend involved in a Disciple Now through a local church.  Several men came in from out of town to disciple to a group of rowdy teenagers.  Although I am sure that many good things were said, I don't recall much of it.  However, I do recall the home that we stayed in, and the owners of the home.  I hadn't really known the wife prior to this, but being one of the only girls at the weekend activity, she and I formed an easy, special relationship that weekend.  

Thirteen years later, she is still one of the dearest souls that I know.  She always has a sweet smile and a warm hug to offer to me.  She hosted my baby shower last summer.  When I wasn't living around here, she would always ask my mom about how I was doing.

And now, she has a rare form of terminal cancer.

When I first heard, I had to fight the tears, and as the news progressed in the following weeks, it became more and more difficult to hold them back.  

I saw her for the first time this last Sunday.  At church.  As faithful as ever (she's also still volunteering on Wednesday's at our Awana's club for children at church).  When she saw me, she offered her sweet smile, her warm hug, and a kiss for Max. She was beautiful.  Radiant.  A little thinner, but her spirit was so full.  

How can this be small potatoes to her?  This thing that seems so tragic to me as an onlooker.  Even with the knowledge that her form of terminal cancer should allow her to live a long life....it's CANCER.  It's real.  Something is in her body killing her.  

And yet, she lives as though it truly is her small potatoes.  You can see God's unfolding grace on her life.  You know there is a lavish celebration that is prepared for her, even if it is on the other side of earth.  

She gives me such courage to make the most of my small potatoes.  

When I look at my own life, I wonder what things are my small potatoes?  Divorce?  Single motherhood?  Something else?  

More importantly, am I living like they are small potatoes?  

I think I know the answer....my potatoes tend to be scientifically enlarged potatoes.  Potatoes-through-the-side-view-mirror-potatoes.  

I yearn to live a life that is focused on the lavish celebration that is coming and not on the present trials.  Help me God to focus on more than what my eyes can see.  

I won't give up.  I haven't yet.  Not even when the things are looking like they are falling apart.  I press you to not give up either.  

Even if cancer is in your body.  Even if your bills are overwhelming you and you're hardly surviving.  Even if your marriage is crumbling.  Even if your job is not bringing you joy. Even if your kids are driving you crazy and you can't get this mommy thing right.  Even if your favorite family member is ill. Even if your womb hasn't opened up yet. Even if.  

God will make new life and give you his unfolding grace.  Your small potatoes that are going on aren't going to compare to the things that are going to be.  Keep going.  Never, never, never give up dear one.